THE Break-up

Break-up’s are hard. I know I’m stating the most obvious thing in the world and it really doesn’t matter what type of break-up it is. It could be a break-up of a three-year relationship, that blackberry you have been clutching to or the job you thought you loved till you got a pink slip. I know you probably think and maybe even hope that I am going to speak about “the” break up but not today now isn’t the time for that. Instead I am going to refer to a brief mention I made in a previous post a few days ago of my hiatus which is a break-up kids, lets just face it. Speaking of facing something that’s it, Facebook, we are through! Whew, I said it and I feel even better than I have in the past week.

Calm down, I can hear you all from here! I am fine; I have not completely lost it, yet. I have a lot of reasons for breaking up with Facebook and when I say a lot I mean a LOT!!! And I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times this week I have picked up my phone to scroll through my news feed to see what my friends and family are up to and to see nothingness. At first it was like my phone simply became meaningless and useless. This also meant it was time for some serious self-evaluation. Had it really been that long since I was truly alone with my own thoughts? Not that I am a person with a lot of down time frankly I hardly have any time for myself but it’s those 30 seconds while waiting on the microwave or the 5 minutes in the carpool lane that I can feel slightly connected to my family or friends back home. Sometimes it is the positive quote that I needed to see that day or the ranting’s of another mom that make me feel like I am not alone, comforted almost.

But I saw a pattern over the past few months that were developing and it was a little like being bipolar if one could guess what that feels like. Scrolling through my news feed would be joys for a triumph of a friend and then anger or frustration over the antics of another. I came to the conclusion at that time to start hiding those who seemed to always be ranting about something or couldn’t find a filter. Let’s face it as much as I will post something on your status update to help move you along and inspire you I can’t keep getting run over by the same horse. As time went by I slowly kept at it hiding and even “un-friending” a few to help isolate the negative. Then it seemed the dust was starting to settle a little and I took a little vacation, what relief! Of course who goes without something as important as Facebook on vacation? What would we do without sharing the great pictures and talking about the great adventures and of course that we were still alive after an earthquake?

There is always the straw that breaks the camels back, in this case it was a chain of events that led to the break-up.

Number one, my bitchy ex-girlfriends, I know what you are thinking, I just got married. Yes, read it again. Those catty bitches that can’t play nice or act like adults, those girls I used to call my friends. Ladies, read this next sentence carefully and take head! Facebook is not an online 3^rd grade school playground meant for you to learn about social awareness. If lessons are needed please reply and I will be happy to address this at a later date, seriously! You may not friend and un-friend because someone hurt your feelings or tag a million people in your post to get someone else’s attention. And you can’t keep doing things to get a boys attention you just look desperate.

Number two, not everything is meant to be on Facebook. I mean this and most of you don’t know who you are but you are over sharers. I don’t need to know your every thought and I sure don’t want to see every selfie in your bathroom mirror, stop it!

Number three, stalkers! I am not talking about the killer type although honestly I don’t prefer those either but I am talking about the friend of the person you have blocked for a reason who is stalking you. They may not even “know” that’s what they are doing but they are and I have people blocked for a reason, THEY DON'T BELONG. And privacy settings people!!! I have clients who have literally told me they knew everything about the homebuyer or seller from Facebook. Protect yourselves from strangers who could be looking for something more than wanting to know if someone nice is buying their house.

Number four, which should now be number one I have a whole new and less distracted life! Let’s face it Facebook becomes a habit and even when you don’t realize it you pick up your phone and you are scrolling through your newsfeed instead of talking to someone. How effective is that communication style? For me personally and professionally I can tell you it was killing me.

Number five, I saw it on Facebook! You know it’s like a game of telephone when we were little only amplified. If one person sees it and they call another etc. everything just spreads like wildfire. One little non-descript post could take you down! If you work with the public or have children please keep this in mind.

Do I miss it? In a nutshell, yes. I missed out that my forever bachelor cousin got engaged, which is awesome! I was last to know that my sisters dog got hit by a car, that was sad but she is going to be okay. I feel a little less connected and feel like my business might suffer but this is definitely the best decision for me right now. This is a great time for me to take a break and think about what I really want out of life, I am sure it isn’t spending the next 10 minutes mindlessly scrolling through my news feed before getting back to work.

PSA. Some of you also need to get a grip! If you have a joint Facebook account GROW UP! Facebook did not create cheating spouses nor stage 5-clingers merely gave them a more finite avenue in which to pursue such things. If you are or have a cheating spouse or stage 5-clinger figure out how to recognize and run appropriately.

Peace